On winning and overcoming failure

Creta Academy spoke to Ong Wei Yu, a bright young athlete who represented Singapore in several beach volleyball competitions, including the Commonwealth Games in 2018. A familiar face in the local scene, Wei Yu has been with the Singapore beach volleyball team for 5 years, and playing volleyball for over a decade. The 26-year-old has witnessed how the local beach volleyball scene blossomed over the years and also experienced first-hand the struggles that young athletes face. Here’s what she has to say about motivation, winning, and failure.

How do you keep yourself motivated?

I keep myself motivated by constantly having an achievable goal in mind. Once I’ve reached my goal, I will come up with another one to ensure that I keep moving forward and do not stagnate. Personally, I find that challenging myself keeps things interesting. It gives me something to look forward to! But of course, these goals should not be things that may induce anxiety at the very thought of them. If that ever happens, then it is probably time to sit down and reevaluate them or take it slow.

Also, the people around you definitely play a part in keeping you motivated. This is one of the many reasons why I have been involved myself in a team sport ever since I was in primary school. I enjoy how teammates can cheer, drive and motivate you to do better especially when you are feeling jaded and disappointed with your performance.

Tell us your thoughts on winning.

I guess as athletes, we are hard on ourselves when it comes to our performances and results. To say that winning is not everything in our case, isn’t correct per se as we are judged based on our scorecards. If we lose, it means that something went wrong and that also means that we were not as good as the other team or teams.

It is hard to swallow the initial result, especially if you really put in all your effort and invested a lot of time and energy into training. It took me a while to try to steer away from and get rid of the ‘winning is important’ mentality and instead, move towards the ‘what have I gained from this process that I can positively learn from in my next competition?’ mindset.

To be honest, at this stage, it is still a work in progress. But I guess in life, you win some and you lose some, and as cliché as it may sound, the journey matters more than the outcome. I believe in every goal or competition that you sign yourself up for, you definitely will give your best. Because of that, there will always be learning points to take away from.

How do you pick yourself up again when you fail?

I have lost several times over the past few years. And how I have overcome those failures is to let the feelings sink in and allow myself to feel sad for a while before evaluating what went wrong in that game. I watch videos and analyse what can be improved, perfecting the skill I lacked in the next couple of months so that I do better next time.

What I normally tell myself is, ‘it is just another competition; it isn’t the end of the world. There will be others’. Most of the time, it works! I get over it pretty easily but in some cases, it takes more than just this; it requires time.

I remember just taking time off after a particularly difficult competition. I took the loss badly. I was ashamed to meet my teammates, to put on my jerseys, and even dragged my feet to training. I felt like I let a lot of people down. It went on for several weeks until I decided that I needed to take time off the sport to allow myself to process and evaluate if continuing was a good idea. Throughout this period, my teammates were the ones that supported me and enabled me to slowly heal. It is good to give yourself some time off and confide in people. Talking to someone really helps you to see things from an unbiased point of view. Because ultimately, even if you were to deny it, the one that is hardest on yourself is you. We need to treat ourselves with gentleness and kindness too.

Follow Wei Yu on her instagram account @ongweiyu where she posts her workout routines, daily life, and snippets of her experience as a competitive beach volleyball player.

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